Is "Thinking Positive" Bad Advice?
It’s the well-intended advice we’ve all received…
“Think positive.”
“Look on the bright side.”
“Just think more positive thoughts.”
We’ve probably all given that advice, too, at one time or another.
And yet… when has that advice – to think positive – really, genuinely helped you?
In reality, forcing ourselves to “think positive” in the face of adversity can be ineffective to the point of harmfulness. Forced positive thinking denies the reality of our lives. Sometimes our experiences REALLY ARE negative. It makes total and complete sense that our thoughts about life would be similarly negative – in those instances, an absence of positive thinking is often completely realistic.
When do negative thoughts become a problem?
There is not an inherent “problem” with having a negative cognitive response to an event. There certainly is, however, a problem when those negative thoughts become too frequent, irrational, or unrealistic.
How can forced positivity be harmful?
If we are trying to view the world as either positive or negative, we are thinking in black and white terms. This style of thinking is quite rigid, and unfortunately isn’t realistic. Rigid thinking means a person has their blinders on and does not adapt their view of the world according to changing circumstances or new evidence. Rigid thinking asks us to go from “I’m the worst” to “I’m amazing” without leaving room for all the shades in between, nor any kind of compassion for ourselves as we learn, grow and change.
Ignoring the ‘negative’ can have negative consequences. It’s the same as sweeping the dust under a rug…we can’t see it, but it’s still there building up and there is a limit on how much dust can fit under that rug!
Instead of 100% positivity, what should we aim for instead?
When facing a challenge, an adaptive response involves looking for ways to reduce the impact that feeling bad has upon us and our lives. The negative ideas of your mind have to be acknowledged and dealt with – not repressed.
There are even ways of building up your capacity for positivity and helping create a habit of it. Just like putting effort and work into building a muscle, it’s possible to build the quality of your self-talk and internal landscape. Think about shifting your focus away from “how do I get rid of these negative thoughts?” and move it instead towards “how can I take care of myself and be gentle on myself at this moment?”
Building up your ‘positivity’ muscles takes time and practise. Here are some small, useful tips to help:
- Paying attention to your self-talk
- Accept the bad with the good
- Acknowledging the bad doesn’t take away from the good
- Make the most of a challenging situation
- Try to see alternative points of view
- View your abilities through the eyes of a friend, or as a loved one would
- Look for the best in people
- Integrate compassion into your self-talk
How to Access a Psychologist at CQ Psych Services:
- Contact us directly by calling 07 49726929 or email admin@cqpsychservices.com.au
- Ask your GP or health professional to refer you to our clinic.
- Come in and see our friendly staff at Shop 1 & 2, 13 Tank Street, Gladstone QLD 4680.
- Visit our website and complete a ‘Contact Us’ form and one of our friendly staff will reply to your enquiry. Website: https://cqpsychservices.com.au/
Author: Kelsie Realf