15 Oct 2023

E-Safety and Online Bullying

If you have a young person in your care, you’ve likely spent time thinking about their online safety and technology. There are many fantastic resources for parents and carers to learn more about supporting young people to use technology safely. Here are some tips, tricks and websites to save in your bookmarks. 

First, these signs to look out for can serve as indicators for further investigation and support. These changes might not always mean online bullying or eSafety concerns, but are certainly worth investigating: 

Behaviour changes: 

  • Increased distress after using the internet or mobile phone. 
  • Personality changes, such as appearing lonelier or distressed. 
  • Decline in academic performance. 
  • Altered sleep patterns. 
  • Avoidance of school or clubs. 
  • Deterioration in physical health. 
  • Heightened secrecy regarding online activities. 
  • Increased behavioural issues at school. 
  • Increased insensitivity or aggression to others. 
  • Defensive or secretive use of devices – including quick switching of screens in your presence. 

 Environment/social changes: 

  • A new social circle or an increase in concern with popularity status. 
  • Unexpected shifts in friendship circles. 
  • Things you hear from other people in your community. 
  • Use of multiple accounts – such as friends sharing accounts or logins. 

  

Next, know there are many ways of integrating healthy use of technology into your home. These are some tips from a psychologist for preventing online bullying and increasing online safety: 

  • Supervision is essential: this means knowing what your child is doing online, who they are interacting with and what platforms, apps or games they are using. You won’t let them go to an unknown location with unknown people; don’t let them use unknown websites with unknown people either.  
  • A kids’ brain isn’t an adult brain: don’t expect a child to be able to act like an adult. Kids’ brains aren’t developed enough to monitor, regulate or make good choices online yet – it is the adults’ job to do this. 
  • Check privacy settings: research and understand app settings, including privacy settings (see below for a bunch of guides on this). This could include turning off location settings, setting profiles to private, or turning off chat functions.  
  • Open and regular conversations: talking with your child about technology use helps establish a family culture of respect, kindness, and positivity. Discuss the online world and technology, adapting the content to their developmental stage. 
  • Teach critical thinking skills: help them see the difference between reliable and unreliable information in the digital realm. 
  • Shape your child’s digital identity: do this by discussing the values they should exhibit online and emphasising the importance of respectful communication. 
  • Set clear boundaries: establish rules and guidelines for screen use within the family, including designated areas for tech usage and restrictions on screen time in certain spaces like bedrooms. This can be done by having family agreements on how screens are used across the household (see the ‘family tech agreement’ below). Research shows that kids will often be more accepting of boundaries/rules if the whole family is following them, and they feel it is fair for all. 

 

You’ll also want your kids to feel like they can come to you if and when they need to. These are some ideas to encourage your children to come to you: 

  1. Coming forward isn’t always easy: Kids may feel reluctant to tell you about online issues if they believe they will be punished or have their devices taken away. There are two VERY helpful things to remember when they come to you for help.  
  2. Respond as calmly as possible. Thank them for coming to you for help. Recognise and validate the courage it took for them to speak up. Calmly let them know you’re going to help find a solution.  
  3. Don’t take their device away from them. This generally makes children more secretive about device use. Make sure they know that if they come to you for help, their device won’t be taken away. 
  4. As above, have open conversations, often: Talk to your child regularly about their online activities and interactions. 
  5. Foster shared experiences: Identify activities that the whole family can enjoy together, both involving screens and promoting offline interactions, to model a balanced and positive relationship with technology. Take an interest and, where possible, actually spend time with your kids playing the games they’re playing. 
  6. Model it yourself: model the kind of screen use you expect from your kids. 

  

Finally, spend some time having a look at these family-friendly resources: 

 

How to Access a Psychologist at CQ Psych Services:

  • Contact us directly by calling 07 4972 6929 or email admin@cqpsychservices.com.au
  • Ask your GP or health professional to refer you to our clinic.
  • Come in and see our friendly staff at Shop 1 & 2, 13 Tank Street, Gladstone QLD 4680.
  • Visit our website and complete a ‘Request an Appointment’ form and one of our friendly staff will reply to your enquiry. Website: https://cqpsychservices.com.au/

Author: Kelsie Realf

Psychologist